Balance and Shame

As I sit here and tilt myself into this uncomfortable position I am thinking what if they see. What if she sees what I am reading. What if she sees what I am reading and reads my thoughts. It is funny that it took this moment for me to wake up to my shame. What I am reading is factual and in fact what I am reading is me, it is my people, it is my skin, it is me. So I ask myself this, how long have you been shamed into shaming yourself. Shaming yourself over your entire existence. Shaming yourself for what is not shameful and what shouldn’t be shameful. How many times have you bent your entire being, your entire soul to accommodate another’s view. Suddenly I realise that I was about to do the simplest act of liberating myself. I open the book to the page where my favourite raw poem on racism sits. I open it wide, this time letting go of the what if, and hoping the girl sitting next to me looks over and sees what I’m reading. This time I refuse to be crippled by fear, to fold myself into a space I was meant to fit whole.

I am still learning what to be shamed of and what to bare regardless of what the world thinks. I hope one day I can be unashamedly shamed and stay myself.~balance

Dear loves, be careful that you are not  made not to breath out fully, do not hold your breath in or else you may suffocate yourself. Shame like any other emotion is useful but do not let it drive your being, displace you or even shrink you. You are allowed to think and even have your own opinion(imagine that), you are allowed to stand firm in your truth. You’re allowed to evaluate shame on your own terms.

Happy full breath taking,

Inhala…..Exhala.

Love,

M. I